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Transcript

(At school)

Derek: Can I go to the restroom?

Teacher: Sure, but hurry back!

Derek: We're going to make a fake lockdown prank! (laughs)

Mr. Jimison: I have to go to the meeting at the El-board for 3 hours and 45 minutes away!

Derek: Yes, time to break a leg! First, I will change my voice into Mr. Jimison's! (changes voice) That was hard, anyway, let's break a leg!

(beeeeep beeeeep)

Derek: Attention, b*tch *** jews! Well, there's a convect who p*ssed in the damn pool, cause *****y ***holes think he's so f*cking god damn cool! When you see the water's yellow, give the yellow a lick, if not, SUCK THE CONVECT'S D*CK! SIEG HEIL!

(beeeeep beeeeep)

Derek: (laughs) The prank is done, I need to hurry back to class!

(Derek hurries back to class)

Teacher: Derek! What are you doing in the halls with a robber here? Get in my classroom now!

(Derek gets in Mrs. Terrence's classroom)

Teacher: I don't mind if you listen to music during this lockdown, the room has no windows, and a hard door.

(4 hours later...) 2:28 PM

(beeeeep beeeeep)

911 Dispatcher: This is 911 Dispatcher Ernie Anderson, to notify that the lockdown was a result of a false! Everybody, get back in your desks, this lockdown is now over and we need to regroup!

(students regroup)

Dad: Stephanie, how was school.

Derek: It was good.

Dad: Let's watch the news.

Mrs. Latrobe: Hi, I'm Cathryn Latrobe and this is WDTN News, today, a fake lockdown was performed at school. Let's interview with a few students and teachers.

Mrs. Jimison: When my class was doing assignments, a lockdown started. Wait a minute! It was Derek! If you're watching this, you're the worst student ever!

Mr. Roberts: Derek, if you're watching this, you are suspended for 60 days!

Osamu: Thank you, thank you Derek, for making the fake lockdown. That helped me bleed my penis.

Dad: Derek! How dare you make a fake lockdown at school! Your grounded grounded grounded for tranquility!

Derek: Screw you, b*tch!

Mom: If you keep this up, I'll ground you for life!

Hugh: I agree with Mom! You'd better not stay here or else...

Mom: You're grounded grounded grounded!

Derek: F*ck no!

(Derek throws agendas at Nancy, Carroll and the aformentioned family)

Kumi: Ow! Stop, Derek!

Derek: Why the f*ck not, b*tch?

Kumi: Denise! Derek just talked smack to me and used the F word!

Denise: What did you say, Kumi?

Derek: Ha, ha, ha, ha! I'm so f*cking sorry! I'm so sorry, ya ***holes! All I'm telling you all is..............

(Derek takes out a megaphone)

Derek: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY PUNK ***HOLE, MOM, DAD, HUGH, KUMI AND DENISE YA *******? SCREW YOU, EVERYBODY!

Dad: That's it! You're grounded!

Derek: F*ck no! F*ck no! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

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